cogitate, meditate, contemplate, ruminate, think

cogitate, meditate, contemplate, ruminate, think

( 6:02 AM ) bibleeofilee

tomorrow i will be handing in my very last assignment of the term. then it's on to exams. i say bring it. the great thing about exams is that it's about three hours of your life and then it's over. and as soon as it is over, you can purge your head of all that information that you won't need to know again. except maybe for conversation at cocktail parties.

this weekend should be tons of fun. i'm going to see kill bill vol.1, which i am VERY excited about. i've heard all good things. then i plan on lots of relaxin' for the rest of the weekend. maybe indulge a little. hehe.

i don't really have a lot to say. just figured i should post...
later

( 4:22 PM ) bibleeofilee

i went to bed last night...well, this morning, really...at 5:30am. which is later than i have stayed up all term. which doesn't make ANY sense to me, because i was up all kinds of late this week doing school work. it's so much easier to stay up late when you don't have to be all smart and crap.

except then i slept past noon, watched britney spears "in the zone", and ate chicken fingers. therefore, i only got half of my work done. and now i'll probably be up later than i want to be tonight to get it all done. crappity crap CRAP!

but didn't we have a time? ;)

( 8:12 AM ) bibleeofilee

i got 100 points. i guess that is really good. all it means, really, is that i listened to too much crappy radio growing upt. it's a fun time, try it out.

( 11:35 AM ) bibleeofilee

last night i saw one of the most beautiful sunsets i have ever seen. i was walking home by myself, and it really felt like i was walking into the sunset. it was all orange and pink and purple in front of me, and the houses were glowing. and behind me the sky was that nice dark blue colour, and really clear. it made me feel all happy to be alive and whatnot. seriously. i can't explain it. it's something you have to feel.

in other news, i got my copy of our cd! i'm listening to it right now. and i have to say, it's awesome. my friends better recognize. and if they don't, i'm gonna have to lay the smack down. it's classical, yo. they don't have to like it, just appreciate my greatness!

and now i have to write a paper. well....three papers actually. but let's not think about that right now.

( 12:04 PM ) bibleeofilee

in case you all weren't aware, i *love* halifax. what an awesome city. so many interesting things to see. but if i lived here i'd probably be broke. i restrained myself at the cd store, but at the most awesomest bookstore in the world i spent about, oh 60+. but i got some awesome books. i love that store. the walls are all completely covered floor to ceiling, there is a little room with all books about cdn studies AND a maritime room! and practically an entire floor (there are 3, i think) of can lit! i can't stay in there too long, or else i overdose on joy. also this morning, i went to the market. it was super cool, and i had a yummy samosa, but i couldn't stay too long because the smells were difficult for my poor little tummy to handle so soon after the onslaught of tequila last night.

tonight i get to visit two of my friends that i haven't seen in a year! colour me excited.

i should go get ready for dinner. i made reservations for 5:30, and i think i'll do some exploring before, since i'm flying solo unitl then.

( 1:31 PM ) bibleeofilee

i wish i could google my life into order.

it would look something like this:
search: anil's ghost
search: camera
search: how do you dry a soaking wet carpet?

aaahhh!!! i can't find anything, i don't know when i have to be ready, i can't leave my house because i will probably have some kind of panic attack, my carpet *squishes* when you step on in, EVERYTHING in my closet is soaked.

at least i have clean, dry socks.

( 4:51 PM ) bibleeofilee

i've come to the conclusion that i'm a bitter person. seriously. i remember the hurts and the pain and i carry on like everything is fine, but it's not. yeah, there are lots of instances where people have screwed up, and i truly have forgiven them. but i was thinking about some shit yesterday and i realized, i'm not really over it. no one ever talks about it, but the bitterness is still eating me up inside. so then i started wondering why this is, and the answer might sound stupid to any of you guys reading this, but here it is -- it's because i care about people too damn much. i want the people i love to be happy, and i want them in my lives. and i guess maybe i'm afraid if i let them know about my beef, then they'll leave. that is the last thing i want to happen. so i guess this is the question, dear reader: do i say something, in hopes that it will clear the air and we can all truly move on, or should i just try harder to let go? i'm at a loss.

( 11:05 AM ) bibleeofilee

this is a meme i got off of some other pages that i read. i was going to cross out the stuff that i don't think applies to me, but i don't know how, so i'll just leave it as is. however, i'm born on the very last day. maybe i'm more august. it's pretty hit and miss....leave a comment!

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

( 8:29 PM ) bibleeofilee

jodie is posting at the same time as me. we have decided that the saturday night drunk at the pub ritual should continue. or become a ritual, as it were. whaterver.

so yeah. i've got some stuff on my mind, but i probably should try to censor myslef a little bit. i don't want everything that i'm thinking right now on the internet....cause most of it is dirrrty! hehe.

this weekend has not been as productive (school wise) as it could have been.....but i've had a hell of a lot of fun!

anyway, i've got to go, cp is here spreading the groove butter.

( 6:25 PM ) bibleeofilee

i've been trying to think about interesting things that i could post, but everything i've been ruminating about lately has been intensely personal and....well...bitter. and i think it would probably be better left to the paper journal. or screamed at someone's face. maybe. i'll try and do better, i promise.

( 8:01 PM ) bibleeofilee

i try not to resort to using other peoples words to express myslef, but sometimes, it's just already been said better than i could ever articulate. and now, for your reading pleasure, Unsung Psalm:

there would be psalms sung by a choir
i would have a white robe a halo newly acquired
i'd be at peace and i'd have no desire
if i'd lived right

there would be cherubs with tiny harps arrows and bows
i'd have a halo and a flowing white robe
i'd be enfolded by a celestial light
if i'd lived right

but i'm feeling hot and bothered under the collar
i feel the sweat breaking out on my brow
i feel the heat and i know it's the passion
the love i can't disavow

if this is a dream wake me up now
if this is a movie let's edit these scenes out
it would be a pg instead of an x rated life
if i'd lived right

some would call me a cheat call me a liar
say that i've been defeated by the basest desired
yes i have strayed and succumbed to my vices
but i tried to live right

but i have no regrets no guilt in my heart
i only feel sadness for any pain that i've caused
i guess i wouldn't bother to worry at all
if i'd lived right

do you live by the book do you play by the rules
do you care what is thought by others about you
if this day is all that is promised to you
do you life for the future the present the past

if there is one thing i know i know i will die
if anyone cares some stranger my critique my life
i may be revered or defamed and decried
but i tried to live right

there would be psalms sung by a choir
i would have a white robe a halo newly acquired
i'd be at peace and i'd have no desire
if i'd lived right

Tracy Chapman
Telling Stories (2000)

( 10:29 PM ) bibleeofilee

so i've been to the pub. and i had a lot of fun, even though i didn't make out with anybody. but i totally could have. and i'm still kinda drunk. and i felt the need to post. so....check out my roommates page at jo-jo.blogspot.com

later

an assortment of thoughts from my messed up head -- go on, analyze me.....i DARE you